However I express myself seems to be inadequate in capturing the essence of my authentic experience. It’s as if the expression becomes something fixed and permanent and what I am and what I am experiencing and attempting to express is not fixed or permanent. I think that it is that when thought starts and tries to reflect on truth it divides itself from truth.
The truth for me is that I don’t really know what I am or what life is about. Poets, artist and the spiritual reflections of contemplative`s,more skilled at written expression than myself , seem to be able to touch a place in the heart for me and the heart seems to be the most important influence in living life for the simple reason that it knows better about the truth, than the thinking mind. The heart knows better about what life and what love and compassion are. I am best able to experience the essence of life from the heart when I am letting go of a structured way of being, sitting in silence and in nature and when I am able to relax the thinking process. Here in this place I am most at one with myself and life.
My perception is that collectively humanity has become lost along the way. We have lost the connection with nature, with each other and with ourselves and we are trying to think our way back to truth. Maybe as Sartre writes there is no exit from thinking. It has gone too far this way, and we may not be able recover what we have left behind, at least if we remain stuck in our habitual ways. However, I can’t say that I know what needs to occur to change this. In silence I can only connect with myself and with an inner world that seems to have some answers that are not easily transferable or expressible in the way of rational thought and scientific reductionism. From that seeing I can live and act in a way that is inseparable from that seeing.