Coming to be more spontaneous in response to life has involved an increased awareness of how I have become conditioned. A deeper engagement with life has involved a spontaneity that is derived from questioning what I have come to believe as a result of what I have been told and taught that life is. It has allowed for a stepping outside of a conventional way of consciousness of life and living to a more direct experience of “being” in life and unfolding from that.
Living in this way is not without its challenges. But it seems to me that learning to be with the challenges that life brings is a part of learning to live fully. In our social way we sometimes, desire not to question convention and in so doing, become trapped in expectations, and in turn cut off from “Being”. The word “Being” is a difficult concept to define, but for me it is best understood in terms of the direct ineffable experience that we have of living, when all the external expectations that we have brought to life are absent. I am learning in an ongoing way how to remain in a more authentic way and in so doing more connected to “being” than I have once known, despite external forces and perceived pressure to be otherwise.
As Krishnamurti suggests “most of us are trapped, whether we like it or not, because that is our world, that is our society; and awareness in relationship is the mirror in which we can see ourselves very clearly. To see clearly, there must obviously be no condemnation, acceptance, justification, or identification. If we are simply aware without choice, then we can observe not only the superficial reactions of the mind, but also the deep and hidden reactions, which come out in the shape of dreams, or in moments when the superficial mind is quiet and there is spontaneity of response. But if the mind is conditioned, shaped, and bound by a particular belief, surely there can be no spontaneity, and therefore no direct perception of the responses of relationship.” – Krishnamurti, The Collected Works, Vol. VI”,207,Choiceless Awareness