Tears of Being

Many times through the day  things arise that bring a tearful experience. Things seem too touch the heart more than they once did. It might be noticing a childs innocence or maybe two people showing affection  or being intimate with each other. Music can bring them or just the experience of being and coming to a sense of being grateful for life that it brings can be the initiator. It doesn’t take away from the reality that life has at times  been a struggle and perhaps that has been something that has contributed to that sense of living fully and the tears that this realization triggers; possibly it,s  partly learning how to cope and negotiate the struggle of life and seeing the value and beauty in that.

The flow of presence is like the flow of a river which is always creating, ripples, waves and bubbles. I understand and embrace the reality that these bubbles arise in.  In the direct conscious embracing of  primordial presence I watch these bubbles and waves arise and flow away and come to realize that this is the nature of life flowing and I will come to know my self in its fullness through the direct experience of this dynamic flowing and  unfolding.

It is not ultimately realized and discovered in renunciation and abnegation  of the surface dimensions of life and the difficulty that we perceive from that. In the experience of presence I realize that it is all part of the ebb and flow of life and what I am. At the same time life is more and bigger than the surface dimensions alone can make sense of. In awareness of presence there are the tears of realization.

What Must We Do? Or Not

Nobody has to do anything that they don’t want to do. We are free to make our choices. But there are consequences for what we choose to do. We are not as free as we are led to believe in this way. Western societies have a history of belief in the idea of being an individual and that this individual has rights and freedoms. Historically countries such as America have promoted a democratic thinking that embraced these values. Ironically and quite conveniently they promoted liberty and freedom for a certain select group of individuals excluding others such as the aboriginal and slave cultures that shared the land that they forcefully occupied.
What we come to believe about our freedom is not always grounded in a comprehensive truth. Our perceptions and beliefs as a separate individual can involve quite a selective seeing at a great cost and if we want to see from a place of deeper awareness there are things that we have to do and perhaps that involves contemplating and ultimately letting go of ways of perceiving that we believe to be true. There is a likelihood that we will have to open to a place of seeing things about ourselves that we don’t want to see; that we have avoided in our selective ways and there might be enormous cultural and institutional reluctance and resistance to do this. The American fathers wrote about valuing democracy, freedom and liberty while they embraced slavery and eliminated indigenous populations. Were they the freedom loving individual that they perceived themselves to be. The consequences of their perceptions and actions which were devoid of compassion and empathy are still unresolved, to this day.
We have created the reality that we know and now have, out of our collective selective perceptions. No, we don’t have to change. We can continue in this duality that we now embrace but there are many monumental consequences for our ignorance that we can’t seem to resolve from that current way of thinking. So what needs to occur if we wish to look to deeper truths of what we are and to be more creative and compassionate in our ways of being. Can we bear to see how it is that we have contributed to separation and delusion and how that has contributed to not knowing ourselves and all else in a most intimate way.

Its in the Exploring and Inquiry.

I don’t ultimately believe what I write. There is always more to it than I can ultimately see and capture but I believe that there is benefit of taking the risk to engage in  dialogue and investigation,  in the awareness that it takes me to deeper revelation of what is. That is what is most helpful for me. I’m not sure that opinions get to the truth, but in exploring our opinions we might ultimately discover the holes and gaps that are,at times,  most significant. It is the ability to let go that seems to be most helpful in this and it is in silence and the emptiness that accompany the letting go that what I experience is most relevant.

Finger Pointing to the Moon

I appreciate open  discussion,  very much so;  but, at the same time  I realize that I am an extreme doubter. Claims to know,  are to me,  simply a subjective way of seeing. I understand that there is often a revelation or experience of truth to those who make such claims,  but in the fixing and conceptualizing of that,  it seems only to impart relative truth.  It becomes, for  me;  simply a way of seeing that has limitations; such as the limitations of language and concepts used to attempt to capture its essence.   I enjoy exploring those relative ways and investigating and comparing them but seldom feel that there is absolute understanding acquired through them. They are at most, as the Buddhists say, “a finger-pointing to the moon”. They can touch in me,  a deeper place of intuition and realization from which I am often inspired to explore deeper possibilities.

Direct experience is to me the way of knowing,  and that too is inevitably subjective. The direct experience is not something that is fixed, however; but  constantly changing and forming according to the perception that’s before it and whatever it is that might influence that. If we are bogged down in opinion, concepts,  theoretical, philosophical and analytical understanding than it seems that the direct experience can be somewhat  impaired by this.  Attempts to express and conceptual the direct experience can be helpful if I realize the limitations of these processes. Any kind of direct experience that reveals some truth to me has this subjective orientation, however it might be that all others have the capacity to experience a similar revelation.

Opening to What is Bigger Than Self

It seems to me that opening our minds to new things; is what  life is about. When I am stuck in old  and fixed views and rationalizations and ways of seeing myself and the world I reduce my ability to see more vast,  emerging connections and extensions of what I am. Yes we all think differently and we are entitled to our opinions and choices. So true.

Many of us come to a place where we do not explore or question, but in blind faith accept  opinions and perceptions that have been handed down from past  generations. Curiosity and a thirst to know deeper truth or more direct experience so often seems to have fallen by the wayside. Our societal and cultural norms often  perpetuate, promote and reinforce a society that is static, rigid in its self-definition, oppressive and ultimately destructive. Our old views have served us in terms of enabling the human species to survive but if we are to adapt to an ever-changing world and universe we must come to a new awareness; to see in a deeper more comprehensive way, bigger truths that we have missed in our old ways.  To enter into deeper awareness than the conventional self is able to see we might firstly  take the step to open to the possibility that we are missing something in our habitual way and allow ourselves to see the possibility that we might not be too far away from destroying  ourselves and all other beings on this planet. From that awareness we might be enabled to realize what it is that we do and what we have become and from there what we must do. We might begin to see that our behaviour has huge impacts on others and on the planet and that to share and talk in an open way might be a way  to discover and explore new possibilities. Yes we will meet resistance and conflict but this is something to be met and moved through in discovering the truth of ourselves and it is a lifetime journey to discover ourselves.

Change

I don’t take my conclusions about life too seriously; ultimately I don’t take myself too seriously. I perceive the human tendency to believe in their conclusions and in fact their conclusions about self to be a bit absurd. I realize that my  expressions are always incomplete expressions; however,  they may serve to lead to  reflection, contemplation ,inquiry and discussion of which I have come to value and perceive to be a fundamental and important aspect of  the unfolding of consciousness.

Change seems  to happen regardless of what I write, say or do, but is the quality of change affected by whether or not I bring something authentic of my being or  not to life?  I suspect,  from my heart; that love, openness,compassion, kindness and intimacy promote a different quality of change then violence, hate, anger, ideological or dogmatic obsession or self-absorbed ways do. My own sense is that the change that occurs from each way is quite different and that they arise from a different place of awareness. To sit passively; unengaged in life from the understanding  that my involvement in life is unnecessary or from a  pursuit of bliss , self-sufficiency or self-mastery is as well lacking in realization of the  interconnection of all that exists. I am a fundamental and inseparable part of everything that exists; that can’t really be understood through rational processes as much as a realization arising from an awareness within. That inner awareness has often been  compromised by more learned ways of being.
Acting in a way that is  focused on making an effort to create change is ultimately not  a loving, compassionate, action, however; the energy that emanates from the essence of what I am is curious, compassionate, kind, accepting and intimate in its essence. And it naturally leads to exploration, investigation, connection and an investment in life and living and the mystery  that surrounds it. Change arising from that energy is dynamic, vast and something more authentic than  effort arising from the self.

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A Fixed Opinion or Not

When my opinions are fixed I am not open to seeing things in a new way. When I grasp on to belief, whether it is religious, spiritual or secular in its orientation, I am putting my faith in an arbitrary opinion  and in doing so I draw a line in the sand. These days I see that there are many things better off left to the unknown rather than in making an effort to rigidly define and selectively use  bias and limited information to defend my position. Quite often the truth is not definable as we have conventionally come to assume or believe it to be.

Most anything can be skilfully rationalionalized and asserted as truth  by one who us skilled in doing so. It seems that much of what  I have come to assume to be true is of a more relative quality than absolute. In my rigid  grasping and search for a conclusive understanding there is a closing of the mind and much that I miss in my assertion of certainty. In that assertion I am not open to that which is not measurable and that what I might have missed in my selective way of seeing or that which is not disposed to our human senses to see. In my fixed assertion I am not considering that everything changes.

This is not to say that there is no benefit in searching and curiously exploring what is and is not. But  in attaching rigidly to a fixed conclusion there is too much of what I am  searching  for that is missed. I begin to see the value in the process  involvend in my search for truth; in remaining open to other possibilities and new ways of perceiving and insight that  seem to arise in this openness. It seems to me that there is more truth in this changing unknowable life than is known and that we are better able to have a sense of what that might be, through our direct, aware experience however difficult it may be to express that.