Influenced by Jed McKenna
In order to recognize the absolute truth we must recognize the untruth of the realty we have created and assumed. In that created world nothing makes sense, and the only thing that can ever make sense is that nothing can ever make sense. In awareness of a more absolute essence everything makes perfect sense right out of the box, even the compelling apparency of the created universe. Nothing is excluded or swept under the rug, nothing is mysterious or hidden, nothing requires Einsteinian intelligence or supercolliders or space telescopes to be understood, nothing requires intermediaries or intercessors to translate for us. It’s all very simple and obvious and directly knowable. How could truth be otherwise.
We currently live in a dualistic world , largely formed as a projection of our collective consciousness. But something of a deeper awareness is emerging. It is emerging in the individual experience of more and more of us and involves a deeper awareness of what we are and where we come from. We are born with this awareness but through our socialization, enculturation and conditioning this inner influence is less regarded and we become more subject to the influence of the exterior world and its mechanistic and reductionistic ways of perceiving.
Mindfulness is a way of remembering. It brings an awareness that allows for a remembering. In that awareness we chip away at the superficial and rigid creation of self that prevents a deeper realization. That surface oriented self contains what we are but at the same time veils it. It is an inevitable part of our human development and had and has its usefullness. But in its limited ways it serves to perpetuate a perception of differentiation and separation that has become destructive.
Awareness enables us to see our exterior self and its superficial manifestation and in this seeing and realization it becomes transparent. In that deeper seeing an unfolding occurs that is very natural, creative and ineffable in its orientation and consequently it comes to influence that exterior manifestation. In that transparency there is, a dynamic of flow, between inner and exterior awareness that serves to influence our formation.
The answer to how to enjoy your life is to show up and have a sense of curiosity about whatever might appear that day, including it all in your sense of appreciation of this precious human birth, which is so short. I don’t want to call it delight, although it can feel like that. It’s more curiosity. Some people say, I know what’s going to show up today—the same old thing. But it’s never really the same old thing. Even in Groundhog Day, every day was a different experience for Phil, until finally he learned that caring about people was the answer.
— Pema Chödrön
I have a sense that I am emerging in an ongoing way. In that emergence I am coming to accept in myself that of me that is wanting change, wanting to find out the details of life, questioning, doubting, looking from this angle and that one. There is a part of this that is trying to throw off the seeing expressions of the ego. I am coming to accept all this as workable and a very real aspect of myself. I am not looking to accept external and fixed notions but to discover and explore from my own direct experience and to live and to unfold from this.
In that acceptance and friendliness with myself I am learning to accept the neurosis of another along with the sanity; both extremes as they are a part of myself and as it is the resource of friendship.
There are those who believe that memory, cognition and consciousness itself is just neurological computing of a strictly physical nature. Surely if we are to believe this wonderless notion, our lives are doomed to become as such. There is much of what we see occurring today that can be reduced to that and in turn to be seen as a product of this kind of thinking, but as Greg Krech writes “We think we know our own life, but what we know is only an edited version, colored by our emotions and narrow vision. How close can we come to the original draft? By staring at truth, the soil is warmed, and we begin digging toward the sky.” We just need to learn to look without the conviction of our conditioned and assumed beliefs to begin to see something of us that is more than our analysis and cognitive concepts and assertions.
I would say that my life has been one of searching. At one point of my youth I took refuge in my rebelliousness against conventional ways only to find that the grounding that this provided was illusive. It might have been that I began to see the futility of believing in the fixed notion that I grounded my rebelliousness on; the idea that an ideal existed somewhere that conventional thinking was somehow missing.
My searching was somehow a search for truth but ultimately the closest I seemed to come to that was in the debunking of others claims to know. I remain doubtful and highly suspicious of individuals claims to know to this day. Ironically, somehow in unraveling claims to certainty and other such assertions there is some revelation of truth for me, that can’t be known in a more conventional way of thinking and understanding. It seems to me that we put far too much trust in our ability to differentiate and reduce our experience and the importance of the revelations that arise from that. We cant seem to see, in that process that our claims to truth are relative and in that grasping of the relative a deeper, more absolute and intimate awareness realized through direct experience is abandoned. We create a veil between the truth and our experience in our grasping on to knowing.
On the other hand I have encountered those who claim to know that our thinking is irrelevant and unnecessary. This is in fact another assertion of knowing; that the truth is realized in the denial of our external world and the ways that we have come to survive in it. Thinking, and the concepts and ideas that we create seem to be a fundamental and highly relevant part of what we are and our experience in life and how can that part of us be denied if we are to engage a more comprehensive awareness.
These days there has been a shift in my expectation of what truth might look like and the belief that our thinking alone can excavate that. I wonder at times how we can expect to know from thinking what is outside our cognitive ability to comprehend. The way that we have evolved and learned and come to rely on, in terms of knowing our world, may be interfering with our ability to experience what is absolute about truth. I have come to understand that there is something about truth that is revealed in the not knowing and that there is something to be gained when our thinking is grounded in this awareness of what we truly are, and that of ourselves that we are not separate from; however it is that we have forgotten that.