Through Aloneness

In his book the Alchemist, Paul Cohelo writes about a young man, Santiago,  who journeys away from home in search of a treasure. After his long adventurous journey he returns home and finds that what he was searching was always there at home.

It seems that I have had a similar journey, metaphorically speaking. My journey has been a life long  search for “Self” and the truth of this.  It has taken me far from my home and more than anything to a place of aloneness. For me that was an extremely relevant place to be looking.  From the  loneliness and isolation that I  encountered there,  I eventually reached a place  where I could no longer run from or avoid a most clear  realization. That involved encountering  the extent of  and consequences of shameful actions of my past, that I avoided dealing with and/or resolving  and as a result they were buried deeply. It was probably that I did not know how to cope  or understand what  I was experiencing at the time.

It seems that in aloneness I had no place to run from this realization. In terms of meditation process, the more that I could return to the wild, elemental, spaciousness of my own mind the more that I have been able to come to confront and  overcome the painful sense of isolation and the more that I am able to connect clearly with my own being , I am experiencing a  sense of wanting to help others.

I’m not of the thinking that it could have been done in  a different way. This has been my journey; my awakening. There are many ways to wake up to a the “depths of our being” and it seems that I can not know what that might look like for another. But the sense of what we encounter when we move through “that which blocks us” seems to be quite a universal experience.

3 thoughts on “Through Aloneness

  1. The concept of loneliness is an interesting one. Being with others doesn’t keep us from being lonely. I think that what it comes down to is the desire for unconditional acceptance. If there is something we have difficulty accepting in ourselves then we have a hunger for another to make us feel that we are acceptable. My own experience was that when I found a deep connection with others it would be a tremendous relief for a while, but then it would seem to not be enough – my mind would throw up dark thoughts and I would find myself asking : “Would they accept this?” In the end I’ve come to the conclusion that only unconditional self-acceptance is a cure for loneliness. To be on good terms with our self is the basis for connecting with others in the most meaningful way.

    • Absolutely. That has been the journey; to see what it is that blocks unconditional self acceptance. I also differentiate between aloneness and loneliness. To some degree it has been a process of coming to accept that my ego is alone.

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