There are experiences beyond the reach of words that I am not able to express. It might be that I have yet to come across words that capture them. I have attempted to illuminate this aspect of my being in the past but something of that place that I was looking to express in this way was partially gated and it most always seemed pretentious and disconnected. These days it seems less to be so and there is an increasing accumulation of these experiences looking for the light. Possibly it is that a more attentive, contemplative focus is causing me to become increasingly aware of what has always been there.. There is something of me that desires to share what emerges from within but ill equipped as I am and have been I sometimes seem to make more of a folly out of these attempts than is helpful. I am realizing that this is best left to lie within and to arise on its own,
There are a select few who I will risk sharing with . John O’donahue writes that “We need to learn the art of inner reverence and never force the soul out into false light of social gratification and expectation.” This is appreciated advice for me. In general I value this quality of intimate sharing over a more conventional discourse of endless chatter and psychological labeling. Finding the silence allows for authentic listening and a space for the formulation of words emerging out of the darkness within. In writing of the “soulful darkness” it is not without a reference to experiencing an emerging awareness of how I have been distracted from the world within and the refreshing experience of undergoing the loosening of old unhelpful ways and from that a reorientation and adjustment to a more passion filled existence. And than there is the joy of the search for words to capture that.