I write the contents of this blog and I paint and create as part of connecting with my self and if I am fortunate from that to others. Having been born into and raised during an era that the scientific rationalist, materialistic world view was dominant I clothed myself in the layers of cultural and intelectual fashion and convention of the time ultimately leading to a separation from my self, others and the cosmos. There was something about how I learned and what I had become that was confined and limited as opposed to being expansive and unfolding. I came to seek change in a willful mechanical way ; a projection of my separation. I resisted what was authentic and whatever emerged from that, in unconscious ways as many of us did. Even though I knew at some level that something was amiss I knew nothing of the possibility of awakening from this. I lived in sleep, according to the norms of common culture; bound and capable of only a shallow awareness. In this consciousness I was incapable of realizing the mysterious, beautiful perfection and enlightened state of my natural human consciousness.
There were times and moments that I witnessed directly the suffering of others and in that I was moved to compassion. I would then return to my distracted ways finding it difficult to remain for long in those vulnerable, here and now, moments. At that time I could not bare the openness that came with the experience of vulnerability that included a realization of my own humanity.
These days I am more ready to open to deeper, more sensitive and mysterious places. I spend more time recognizing and witnessing the suffering of myself and others. It has enabled me to see more realistically and clearly past the the layers that have accumulated that have insulated me from experiencing my own suffering and and attention to life, that is a natural, inherent aspect of my own being. In coming to be present to my own suffering I am able to realize that the suffering that other humans experience is inseparable from my own. The barriers between me and them are transcended in awareness. In presence I open to what is hidden in the darkness and to the vulnerable state of being human that I have disconnected from.