If A Fool Would Persist

It was the beginning and as Robert Blake wrote, “If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.”

I am deeply suspicious of those who profess to know themselves in a way that is intensely confident and assured. Colin Wilson suggests that the “self-surmounter”can never put up with the man who has ceased to be dissatisfied with himself. It strikes me that they are operating from perceived illusions of their belief in self. Perhaps it is more that they have not become insightful enough to be aware of their looming self doubt or that they are too attached to “self” to see beyond it. It seems to be a never ending task to shift what we have accumulated of our personality that is in the way of knowing “self”. We humans seem to have an incredible ability in our conditioned way of seeing, to ignore, deny and avoid painful truths about ourselves. To search for truth is too much for the denier.

And thenvthere is the problem of self expression as St. Augustine has writtne ‘I came to know where I was [as a child], and tried to express my wants to those who could gratify them, yet could not, for my wants were inside me, and they wen outside’ (Conassions, Bk. I, VI. Italics mine.)

I have become aware of the limitations of the conditioned self. It is what I doubt. In some ways my later life has been about the refining of a “gentle will” that is focused on revealing what has interfered with openness and receptivity to revelations of self knowing that are authentic.

It seems as well that there is something of my essence that is by its nature creative and imaginative and that when I enter openly into that, there is in turn a more satisfying sense that my attempts of expression are more authentic. At times that creative expression itself is the action that reveals something more of my self. Creativity and imagination seem to be inseparable from that experience of becoming and being authentic. With this there is an increased awareness of the mystery, of life and that which can not be known.

2 thoughts on “If A Fool Would Persist

  1. I like to think in terms of letting go of barriers to understanding or expression. Trying to understand and trying to express makes it seem as if the challenge is in the understanding or in the expression, as if they were mountains to climb, but I think it is the other way around. Understanding is hidden behind dark glasses and expression is held back by a dam. The challenge is in removing the dark glasses and dismantling the dam. To the extent that we can do this, the actual understanding or expressing is liable to effortless.

    1. That is how I see it as well, but these desires existed: to paint and to express. I refined my post a bit to be more clear. In my ignorance I didn’t understand why I could not express in an authentic way or why I was not attracted to works of art in the same way I am today. There was something in painting that did take me deeper although there was at the same time unknown limitations. There was the desire to go deeper in my being but ignorance about how to do that

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