A meditative way of life for me simply involves developing a deliberate awareness of vital life energies. In that way the concentration of these energies is most important in accessing a flood-tide of inner warmth and connectedness that is a more desirable state to live in as opposed to more conventional perception of realty which imposes a demand of sense impressions, thoughts, uncertainties and related emotions, (all man made concerns), that inevitably leach away vital powers. For too much of my life I have allowed myself to be exposed to the force of cold facts, mechanical perceptions and dry criticism.
In fostering an inner reservoir and associated features of inner warmth the expression of my life experience through painting writing and other forms has emerged as a passion. I have been painting for over thirty five years, my love of art emerging from a contemplative practice. In this I experience ongoing intimations that true creativity is something that arises from beyond and through the self out of that reservoir that I have nurtured. As May Sarton the poet implies; the painting is often more mature than the painter of it; always a messenger of growth. In painting and writing I open to this influence of something beyond my limited sense of self. I ultimately find myself in that.
Ultimately an inner reservoir is not an illusory refuge. It is something authentic of me that must be considered if I am to live in a way that is whole. My intimation is that it has always been a part of our human origins regardless of how much we have created another impression of life and reality. It is not a place where I do not succumb to denial ir avoidance of what is true but more of complete awareness of my human limitation and vulnerability and as my existence as a vital part of all creation. When awareness falls I find old habits and conditioned perceptions returning influencing a more sober, fractured reality until the return of a grace filled intimation illuminates for a way back.