My Neediness

Being needy! I understand that we all have a neediness at the core of our personality. I certainly do. It arises often. These days,I think increased awareness allows me to see it more clearly and not to take it as seriously as I once did but it still presents itself.
One thing I find changing, is that whenever I do a meditation I enter a state of being extremely sensitive, almost unpleasantly. There seems to be a feeling of vulnerability and in that place I am affected by things so much more easily. The difference these days is that I see it all so much more clearly. There is something about learning to live in this place that enables me to see more of myself and the world and to understand my connections in a different way than I have known. In the past I was consumed with my own unseen needs and desires.
I still do, sometimes, easily react from a place of neediness, habitually wanting to reduce the vulnerability and sensitivity but I see more clearly, where it comes from. So in my awareness I am learning to be there with this, coming back into the vulnerability. I now realize that this is not a place to be fixed or eliminated but to be learned and explored and to live from. It seems to open me to an expanded, not so defended and protected awareness.

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