Ive lived a rather unusual life by many peoples standards. Im surprised that I made it out of my youthful years alive. When I look around me I see a similar insanity driving others that drove me and my fellow youth, although for many it seems to have become very much a more refined and unexamined version that sustains them in status quo. It doesn’t take much of a leap of imagination to realize from the massive amounts of individuals taking medication for mental health issues and the incredible degree of addiction in our society that something is amiss. We seem to have such a great difficulty differentiating between life actions that are focused on gratification and those that bring joy and happiness. I was fortunate to have a rebellious nature that eventually turned into a sincere questioning ; however, not coming without its own risks and challenges that I am still negotiating.
Everybody has a personal cosmology (philosophy of life), but for the vast bulk of us, it is totally unconscious. It has been unconsciously acquired from family, school, media, churches, and so on, and when faced with any life situation, it is unconsciously accessed in a series of knee-jerk responses that may or may not serve us well. The greatest—in fact, the only—“ sin” in life is the decision to stay unconscious. Every conscious decision (whether it leads to worldly success or apparent failure) can assist our growth. But being unconscious is a guarantee of suffering. It takes moving from behind our habituated and sometimes neurotic ways and fragmented grasping of meaning. At times there may be a search for something other, while being without the willingness to look to the depths. Its difficult to see the whole when so much is buried and relegated to the darkness and all that we do see is bits and pieces shining up from the layers underneath