Where is the security in the mystery that is life?
I have faith that there is something to be gained by opening to life and to change and to the mystery that is life. To arrive at this place of faith has involved a lifelong search to differentiate from what is real and what is not. I have come to see that what is not real has served to insulate me from directly dealing with my fear and sense of vulnerability. In modern life attachment to ideas, concepts and beliefs that provide a superficial sense of security come easy. Our dualistic ways allow for a diversion from having to experience what is perceived to be undesirable and unpleasant. I now see a consequence of that is that it separates us from what is authentic of ourselves and of life and death and from a more intuitive being.
At some level I understand that faith is somehow connected to the same place that involves presence to our vulnerability. That is not so rationally reached or justified. Here discovered is a force intuitively realized that seeks to take us to a higher level, above our own groveling self-interest and that is rooted in being with this mystery despite that it is seen as a type of madness by many.
I now know that everything around me points to the fact that the struggle for justice and what is true that I have been involved in for my entire life may well have been futile. How can I know for sure that I have transcended what has caused me to be blind that contributes so much to our problems? So I contemplate on how I can come to be free, to open to what is constantly changing and evolving of myself and the world.
It is not a cerebral process itself that enables me to open although to refrain from thinking is not helpful. Perhaps it is the separation of intellect and revelation that prevents this. There is growth in coming to realize the limitations and traps of depending on our thinking as a way to understand self and life. The word is not the truth and language and concepts are tools and abstractions that help us to see pieces within a specific context. In my attachment to thinking that my concepts are reality I am distracted from openness and the realization that there are many ways of seeing. In that attachment I am also distracted from my direct unfolding relationship with everything else that is authentic of self and life.