The Price to Pay For Our Fixed Perception of Home

Letter from my eighty year old friend Misty

I am just about to do the dusting on the first floor- and before that grrrrrrrrr I have to scrape all the bloody dirt off my husbands every day shoes— he never did get the garage ever finished. It is a dirt floor still after all these years—and now of course snow etc and his shoes are insane. They have a gazillion small nubs on the bottom all caked in dirt-  honestly, I wanna hide his bloody shoes—- In he comes onto the carpet by the Kitchen door— grrrrrr. As I stated prior he leaves December 6th for Syracuse re carotid artery  Thursday and Friday and probably Saturday, depending, could be more before he would get back-  it is a distance—-  it is not great having no vehicle in the open garage. Twice before when the vehicle was gone, someone tried to break in the kitchen.
After this not so cheerful note— opppppssssss  I shall get on with my morning work—  it is 6: 42 a.m. now–  so off to

Letter to Misty

Just think Mist for those days that he is in the USA you won’t have to deal with his shoes. You would have even a worse time with me Mist. I am no way as efficient or as tidy as Dennis. He is a disciplined marine, Vietnam name vet. It scares me to think that I would have to deal with your need for efficiency and cleanliness. Iris is similar but I’ve worn her down. I am more focused on spending my time in ways that I value more that hopefully contributes to making me more compassionate and loving. Geez I hope it’s working other wise it’s been a complete waste of time. I could be cleaning and arranging things.

I don’t have that much more time to be here so I  don’t get too bogged down in those kinds of things at the expense of forever being referred to as the “untidy one”. It scares me to have to live in a house as you do and to have to spend my time in that one building and take care of it. I don’t think I would do it. Too confined and cut off. By January I will have slept in 11 different beds Under the same number of roofs and I am content in that. Home for me is where I lay my hat. It hasn’t come easy to arrive at this place but I am glad I am. I feel free of the baggage and for me, variety is more, much more, than the spice of life.It’s a basic ingredient of a life lived full and well. Perhaps it is at the cost of a permanent sense of home but I see a lot of suffering, isolation, aloneness and worry in that at times.

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